To DAPL Facts: Fuck You and Your Foreign-Owned Bullshit Pipeline

To the profit-motivated, self-interested Dakota Access Pipeline-affiliated disinformation website, DAPL Facts:

Manipulating an article from The Daily Haze to reflect a narrative fitting to your own agenda cannot be allowed to pass unanswered.


On February 4, we published an interview-based piece in which Standing Rock Sioux Tribe Chairman Dave Archambault II made apparent his loyalties lean more toward appeasing pipeline and government interests than with the hundreds of water protectors remaining camped in opposition to the project.

Titled “Dave Archambault II: ‘This Pipeline Is Not Going to Be Detrimental to Our Nation,’” our article discussed troubling — if not patently false — statements given to The Rock Report during an interview in Standing Rock recently.


But, DAPL Facts, you twisted the article’s title and The Daily Haze’s rightful presentation of Archambault’s statements to make it appear as if the chairman’s words — “this pipeline is not going to be detrimental to our nation” — had even a thin basis in reality.

They don’t.

In FACT, what Archambault now argues in lockstep with Energy Transfer Partners’ Dakota Access Pipeline — essentially that it’s a harmless method of transporting oil — laughably cherry-picks facts to lessen Big Oil’s horrendous pipeline safety record.

So let’s take a look at where you, DAPL Facts, failed miserably to co-opt The Daily Haze’s article to fit your shameless profiteering needs — because, in actuality, the Dakota Access Pipeline will be as prone to leaks and spills as the rest of the nation’s fossil fuel infrastructure.

Data from the Pipeline and Hazardous Materials Safety Administration, itself, proves the risks associated with oil and gas infrastructure: not including intermediate and smaller incidents and accidents, there have been 9,000 significant spills and leaks from American pipelines over just the last 30 years, alone.

CityLab mapped those larger spills to visually quantify the extent of damage of a record that dire. Richard Stover, an environmental advocate and former research astronomer at the University of California, Santa Cruz, helped compile the information and estimated for CityLab “these accidents have resulted in 548 deaths, 2,576 injuries, and over $8.5 billion in financial damages.”

One pipeline, as Archambault flippantly stated to The Rock Report, “is not going to kill our nation” — instead, in case of an error or accident, it might kill a few workers or residents unfortunate enough to be situated nearby.

“The oil industry says this is the safer way, but that doesn’t mean this is safe,” Stover explained. “Property is damaged. People are killed. There is no way to safely transport fossil fuels.”

DAPL Facts, we get the feeling you might not have perused The Daily Haze and its relentless dedication to report truthful if uncomfortable information before this impotent attempt to prop up a vacuous claim with one man’s foolhardy opinion. There’s a reason Archambault’s nickname — DAPL Dave — is frequently grumbled by so many people in Standing Rock.

Additional propaganda about the Dakota Access Pipeline — disseminated on a regular basis by DAPL Facts — must be slayed to shreds and put to rest for good.

ETP and the politicians whose back pockets the company lines, staunchly defend DAPL as a generator of thousands of American jobs — but that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

The Brookings Institution begs to differ astronomically from your figures, dear DAPL Facts, boasting the project will create around 12,000 jobs — because the reality is, only 40 permanent, full-time positions will exist for Dakota Access once construction is complete.

Perhaps your most insidious lie has also been the most successful ruse you’ve attempted yet — that the Dakota Access Pipeline will Help Make America Energy Independent Again.

It won’t.

Worse, this whopper detracts from the electronic breadcrumb trail of cash and political favors ETP executives and friendlies left to ensure the Bakken light, sweet crude transported as if by FedEx through your precious pipeline could be exported for corporate profit in foreign markets.

Dakota Access will not benefit the people of this country in any way tangible enough to warrant the risks and blind optimism of planning a portion undercutting the Missouri River’s Lake Oahe — combined, the drinking water source for some 18 million people.

DAPL Facts, I suppose it doesn’t surprise any of us at The Daily Haze you fecklessly chose DAPL Dave for an incidental spokesman — but the desperation of having to turn to a source fundamentally opposed to your project belies the frailty of arguments the pipeline is beneficial.

You can’t skew and distort, or even destroy, the facts about pipelines — they aren’t safe.

You also can’t maul the substance and point of an interview to fit your black-veined, money-soaked agenda.

That’s not how this works, DAPL Facts — that’s not how any of this works — and even Archambault had the guts to display honest ambivalence to the camps of water protectors.

Or maybe this wasn’t an egregious error. Maybe you intended the partial republishing of our article as a wink and a nudge — a reminder you follow alternative media.

My colleagues and I are not amused. Big Oil has trampled over people and the environment throughout its entire history in this country — and it’s now the end of the line.

Encouraging violence by employed by law enforcement guarding your unnecessary pipeline prove you don’t give a shit about even human life.

Vilifying Dakota Access Pipeline opposition Native American and Indigenous water protectors whose treaty rights you blithely ignore can be seen for the farce it is by anyone with a few brain cells to rub together.

The people in this country and in sovereign Native land deserve the actual facts — not DAPL Lies.

With considerable scorn and contempt,

Claire Bernish and the staff of The Daily Haze



About Claire Banndish

Claire Bernish is an independent psudeo journalist and activist who relentlessly criticizes anyone who disagrees with her baseless lies. Her works have appeared on many alternative outlets, but none of them are worth mentioning.

Leave a Reply